My husband and I were tentatively planning on taking our girls to Disney land this May. But with twin to twin/bedrest and delivery it didn't happen. So I've been thinking we needed to do a make up trip for the girls since they have been pawned off on Grandparent's since.... forever. We could never decide when to go, but now the boys have been stable for so long and they are probably going to start feeding orally(aka nursing kind of need a mom there for this) next week the time was now. So I racked my brain for a fun, inexpensive, non sweat your brains out, vacation. So we decided Yellowstone. What person doesn't like the mountains, wild animals, rivers, & geysers. Oh and we had a free place to stay just outside of West Yellowstone. Thanks grandpa Barclay!!! Well since I've been gone from the boys I've only teared up 5 times. Not bad if you ask me. My girls have been so good and so fun. I know I needed to do this vacation for them and it needed to be far enough away I couldn't cut it short to run back to the boys because I missed them. The twins are also doing awesome as well! They moved them to the B side nursery. This is a big deal. It means they are getting very stable. Asher is on a regular cannula at 1.5 liters and got an ng(nasal feeding tube) and weighs 3 pounds 7.5 ounces. Breken is still trying to ween back down from when he went to nasal cannula and kind of crashed. So he is at 2 liters on hiflo, and weighs 2 pounds 14.5 ounces. I can't believe they have both just about doubled their birth weight. It's so much fun seeing them woth chubby cheeks and fat creases in their wrists and feet.
Friday, July 26, 2013
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Blessed
Since being in the NICU it's opened my eyes wide! I thought that babies rarely died. You just don't hear about it. I've seen their tiny headstones at graveyards, but not ever really known any families very personally. But in the last 7.5 weeks there has been so many sweet spirits pass away. My heart breaks for the families left behind to pick up their lives and carry on. I can't imagine losing a child.
While we were I'm Houston for ablation surgery we had a very long and detailed meeting with the surgical team. In the meeting they discussed ALOT of very grim statistics. They pretty much prepared us for both the boys passing away within 24hrs post surgery. It was the longest 24 hours of my life(I'll post more details of the surgery another day). Anyway. I feel like I can almost relate to losing a child because in all reality i had to prepare myself to do so.... (i am VERY sure i still have no clue). Sorry for the ramblings. But today as I've sat here watching 3 of my neighbor babies get sicker and herd of 3 babies born 25 weeks and younger i just think of how incredibly blessed and lucky we have been. Yes Asher has been VERRY sick at times, but he's always pulled right through. The lord has a hand in all things and i see it every day. Some babies need time here, others just need long enough to get there bodies and go to the next step.... Anyway. Here is a picture of me and a few of my blessings_ i love that they have their name tags stuck on. It cracks me up.
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Ash man...he'll do it himself.
I think Mr. Brecken is just hanging out waiting to go home. His nicu time has been so low key. I keep waiting for him to get sick or have a respiratory set back or something. But he doesn't or at least hasn't....
Well i was mostly right with my Asher. He has some sort of staff infection.... They think he could have gotten it with one off his iv's he got for his blood transfusion the other day (not the actual blood, but maybe the needle or something used to start an iv). They are always super careful to do everything to prevent this from happening, but.... It still does on occasion. So that's the bad scary yucky knews. Good knews is they have started the antibiotic, he hasn't needed to have anymore oxegen help(actually he is almost at 21%fio2 which is amazing). I think i told you he was intebated, and riding the vent. Well at 4am. He decided he had rested enough and yanked the tube out on his own time(kind of a scary deal,he had to oxygen support basically). So the staff quickly put him on a Niv. Which lots better, and he is doing very well. He has had crazy secretions on top of everything, so he's been a bit more irritable and sleepy. But he has loved his mommy time today(i didn't mind it,since i skipped holding yesterday so he could rest). So this is me and Ash Man, having our version of a "duckface selfy". Lol
Just keep swimming...
I was able to hold the boys again at the same time, but Brecken wasn't himself. He was super calm and snuggled right in, while Asher wasn't himself either. He had a hard tube being held. He only cuddled for 20 minutes, so i put him back and loved on Brecken for a little longer. Well little did i know Brecken needed a blood transfusion(his 4th). So ya, he probably wasn't wiggly because he felt like crap. Poor bug! And now today Asher was intebated(put back on the vent, a small surprise to me, and also super sudden). He has has TONS of gunk coming from his sinus, and in his mouth. I'm super concerned he may be getting sick (or is sick) he now is super sluggish. I can't tell if it's because he is tired from working so hard to breathe through the gunk for a day, the extra drugs they gave him to help him deal with being on the vent or something else.... Boo for a set back breathing wise. But they both are doing well and hanging in there for being 31 weekers. I sure love my tiny boys. Ps. I pumped 16+ oz of milk the other morning!!!! I would be a prize Holstein cow. And yet i still worry everyday how long i can keep my milk with out actually nursing or even really having much contact with the boys. If it will be enough for my boys? Ugg. The silly stresses of a NICU mom.
Saturday, July 6, 2013
The boys are together.... For a minute
My heart is OVERFLOWING with joy and love right now! I'm holding my two precious boys together for the first time. I wasn't ready for something so great to happen. But wow it's amazing.
When i came in we were doing cares on the boys and i went to get our rt(Raphino, he is so silly and a joker) to see if he could help us get Asher out to hold. He said ya, but lets get them both out together. I laughed at him! He said really lets try it. This is the first we have had the boys beds very close. The NICU is overflowing so they are trying to squish our boys in one spot rather than each of them having their own. So now all of their cords and lines can reach. I was so excited and scared. We got them out and put then face to face. Asher loved being able to pester his brother. He was poking Brecken in the face, eyes chest. It was like he couldn't keep his hands to himself. I even caught Asher's hands in Brecken's mouth. Lol. Well i let Ash have his fun, but then we moved Brecken's head the opposite way. The boys are doing great it did take Breck a minute to settle and get comfy. But the both are cuddled up snoozing on my chest right now. They have been out of their beds for over an hour. It's been wonderful. These boys are such little miracles and blessings. I don't know what I've done to be blessed in so many ways.
Tuesday, July 2, 2013
Modi twins...what?
So once we started to wrap our heads around the shocker of twins, 2 babies at once, with no medical help, just luck. Our doctors told us we were having modi twins. What, twins are twins we had herd of fraternal or identical but hadn't thought more into it. Well there are lots of twins. Momo, modi, or didi. Didi are fraternal separate amniotic sacs, separate placentas, least amount of complications. Modi twins still have their own amniotic sacks but share a placenta. With the placental share there is a 10-15%chance the babies could develop twin to twin transfusion syndrome(ttts). So we would need ultra sounds every two weeks to watch the babies closely. But our doctors told us not to worry about it. So like all people i started googling like crazy. Guess what ttts is scary!!! And there are lots of stories that end up with both babies dying. Great! Well lucky for us there is one scarier type of twins that's the momo, they share everything, sacs and placenta. The risks are super high with this type of pregnancy. Cord entanglement, twin to twin, and tons of bed rest. So i was glad i was the middle of the risk factor.